My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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