i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
