I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
