im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize