So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Every concussion has its silver lining
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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