She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
