i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
