And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
