Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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