Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dude. I can hear the air.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
