You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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