I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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