So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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