what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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