She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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