Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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