she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
