i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
