Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
