u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
