I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
