I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
birth control should be required to get into college
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
