I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
