why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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