She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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