Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
