party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
