Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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