yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize