and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
