I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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