Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
