I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
