I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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