My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
