Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
