YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
