You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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