Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
