I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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