i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
