piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
