You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
