He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
