would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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