Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
