He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
