The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
