We need to rekindle our bromance
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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