I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
