I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No subtext here. People are naked.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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