Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
