I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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